Happy New Year! It's time to get the planning started!

You got engaged over the holidays! Yippee! Congratulations! Finally you get to start planning your dream day! This is such a fun and exciting time in your life! I'm here to help you avoid making the "I've never done this before" wedding planning errors!

The first mistake that most Bride's make is going straight to buying their wedding dress before thinking about any of the wedding details. Some of the things that will play a role in deciding the PERFECT dress for your are: location, style, season, formality of wedding, etc. I KNOW wedding dress shopping is something you've been dreaming about for a long time! It is magical! But please listen to me when I say find your venue and set your date first!!! If you find a dress that is perfect for an outdoor summer wedding, but the venue you choose is only available in fall or winter then you have a problem! Creating a cohesive wedding design takes all the parts and pieces into account. The dress being a huge factor in the total design!

The second mistake couples make is not having a clear idea of what the other wants. It is so important that you talk to one another about your wedding wish list and if you want to include your families! If your groom wants you to take the planning and run with it, that's great! But it is sooo important that you both know where you stand and how the planning is going to be executed! Having open communication and a plan is the key to being able to enjoy this wonderful time!

There are many more mistakes that can be made, but if you follow my suggestions, hopefully you won't fall into any of them!

Here are my first 3 steps in planning your wedding!

1. Set a realistic budget with all parties contributing and make a priority list. The priority list is a huge factor in how much of the budget you are willing to spend each service/item. I know there are many online budget helpers that tell you how much of the total budget should be spent on what...BUT they don't know you or what you want for YOUR wedding! They are trying to please EVERYONE! Take them with a grain of salt if you do use one. Set the budget percentages based on your needs and desires, not what they tell you! If having a huge, fun party is your top priority then the music (DJ or Band) and bar (wine & beer or premium liquor) will be at the top of your list! If you want a tranquil stress free day where you can enjoy every-one's company and not worry about a thing then having a wedding planner should be at the top of the list. Your priority list should dictate how you divide up and spend your budget. Spend more on the things that matter most and save on or do the DIY for the things that are near the bottom!


2. Find your venue and set the date! The venue and date of your wedding are the foundation that you build on. You can't hire any of your vendors until you have a date set in stone! And usually the venue you chose availability will help you narrow down and select your wedding date. If you already have a date before selecting a venue the selection of vendors can take place, but venue/location should be the first thing you find!


3. You have a budget, priority list, date and venue...NOW go find your dress and all other vendors! All the must needed basics are in place and now is the fun part begins! Build your wedding around your vision and make sure that your dress makes you feel more beautiful then you've ever felt! Here are just a few other vendors that should be selected right away:

• Wedding Coordinator
• Photographer
• Catering
• Florist
• Bride's maids dresses
• The list goes on and on!

Good Luck! I'm so excited for all of you on this incredible journey! If you have suggestions for the newly engaged ladies I'd love to hear them! How did you find success planning your wedding?

Check the blog out next week for info and ideas on where to buy your DREAM dress for less!

Here it is! When is help no help at all article!

Back in November I told you that I was being interviewed for an article about unwanted offerings of help from family and friends. It sparked me to write a whole blog post on the topic, which has hopefully been very beneficial to your planning! The article is finally syndicated and available for your reading pleasure! Feel free to check it out here, here, here, and also here! And, AS ALWAYS, with Ms. Sachse's wonderful articles, there are over 200 more of these, both in print and online, across the U.S. and Canada. Hopefully it will be helpful when planning your wedding and beyond!




Thanks, but No Thanks
5 ways to politely deny “help” from overzealous family and friends

By Anna Sachse
CTW Features

Everyone knows that planning a party for everyone you know is a lot of work, so chances are your loved ones will offer to pitch in. Sometimes you might appreciate their offers – maybe your best friend is a whiz with flowers and offered to create your centerpieces free of charge – but sometimes you may find that their benevolence is more harmful than helpful.

Need some graceful ways to “just say no” to unwanted assistance? Here are five expert tips that should help keep your dream wedding and your loved ones’ feelings intact.

Be Switzerland

The key to politely deflecting unwanted help is to reduce the personal aspect, says Elise Mac Adam, author of “Something New: Wedding Etiquette for Rule Breakers, Traditionalists, and Everyone In Between” (Simon Spotlight Entertainment, 2008). For example, if you are dealing with a pushy relative or future in-law, one way out is to say: “I love you so much, and I love that you have offered to help, but I have to be very careful not to alienate anyone on the other side by leaving people out. For that reason we’ve decided that we won’t involve family in the big jobs.”

This is the “it’s just politics” solution, says Mac Adam. “It also makes you look considerate while allowing you to get what you want or, rather, not get what you don’t want.”

Be Magnanimous

Perhaps your only-cooks-with-a-microwave cousin has offered to bake your cake. The solution? Tell her that you are touched by her generosity, but that you just don’t feel comfortable putting the people who are most important to you to work, says Mac Adam. Instead, you’d prefer that she enjoyed the food, took part in pictures and cut loose on the dance floor.

Play the Blame (it on the pros) Game

“I often tell my clients to blame me!” says Wendi Hroncich, a wedding planner and founder of Seattle-based Ethereal Events. “Most people don’t have a good argument against ‘I really appreciate the offer but my wedding planner thinks it’s best if ...’ And the same goes for any other wedding professionals you work with, including the caterer, DJ, photographer, etc.”

In addition, it’s unlikely that your meddling mother-in-law will maintain a lifelong relationship with any of your vendors, so it’s far better for her to be temporarily upset with them than with you.

Redirect

You may not want your scatterbrained cousin to be in charge of passing out the checks to vendors like she offered, but chances are you can find another role for her. For instance, Mac Adam suggests saying something like: “It’s so nice of you to offer, but it would actually mean a lot to me if, instead, you could check up on Aunt Tessie throughout the night so that she doesn’t get lonely.”

You can also dole out “real” jobs, which, even if done incorrectly, won’t have a major impact on your event or your happiness, says Hroncich. Safer bets include guest-book attendant, gift attendant, usher and candle lighter.

Minimize Damages

If you want a loved one to feel included but you simply can’t stomach the idea of having him or her take part in the logistics of your actual big day, Hroncich suggests assigning a task that you need taken care of in the days or weeks prior, such as picking up a friend from the airport, dropping off hotel gift bags or collecting the programs from the printer. Just be sure that you have a back-up plan in case the person flakes.

When is help no longer helpful?

I was recently interviewed for an article coming out soon about How to Say No to Help. The idea is to help couples find easy and polite ways to say "No Thanks!" to unwanted help from friends and family, while minimizing hurt feelings and still getting what they want. Here is a sneak peek before anyone else of what I had to say!



So, the thing with saying no to input and help from friends and family on your wedding is the same as saying no in all other aspects of your life! Being kind, appreciative and blaming it on someone else all work well, and when the 3 combine: an instant resolution! As you may be beginning to find out, everyone wants to help and knows best when it comes to your wedding! It can get annoying, I know, but listening and appreciating their offer is one of the most important parts to not hurting feelings and getting what you want! But the key to letting them down easy is, blaming it on some else. It always gets you off the hook! I'm NOT saying blame your Mom, Hubby to be, Maid of Honor anyone like that! With an event as big as your wedding there are plenty of other people to have as a scapegoat! The wedding planner (yours truly), Professional DJ or Band, Professional Photographer, Professional Caterer, Venue, etc!

I almost always tell my clients blame me! I'm completely okay being the target of someone’s frustration when it protects my Brides and Grooms. I will not have a relationship with this family member for the rest of my life, my birde or groom will! So if the person(s) are upset with me for a little while rather than my client it's a far better thing! Most family and friends don't have a good argument against "I really appreciate the offer, but my wedding planner thinks it's best if ...." fill in the blank.

The same goes for all your vendors! I must stress the importance of professional vendors! They have the years of experience and credibility needed to put the wanting party at rest. You have hired them to have your wants and best interest above all else! They are also prepared to handle potentially wild family/friend request on wedding day with class and professionalism! Just because the Bride or Groom said no to the helpful party, doesn't mean they won't ask the vendor to do so on wedding day!


Here are a few tips to make sure your wedding goes exactly as you want with or without the help of your family and friends!

1) Be thoughtful and appreciative of the request/offers you receive. Don't think that if you accept help with from one you need to accept it from all. Just let the person whose help you don't need know you have it handled but you really appreciate the offer!

2) If you aren't able to say no thanks, then give people who want to help small jobs that if not done correctly don't really impact the day! Have someone be: the guest book attendant, gift attendant, usher for the ceremony, responsible for getting all the family their personal flowers (corsages/boutonnieres), candle lighter at ceremony or reception, etc. Then allow the major parts of the day be handled by your hired professional vendors!

3) There are also plenty of jobs leading up to wedding day! Someone needs to drive Grandma and Grandpa to the rehearsal dinner, pick up so and so from the airport, print directions to the ceremony, etc. Delegation and follow up are key to the success of this one!

4) Make sure your vendors know exactly how you want things. If there are worries or concerns minor or major tell your vendor! It is better to prepare them for everything that you think might be asked of them.

5) Make sure you know how your vendor handles request! Whether it be a song request from your Do Not play list or guest switching tables. It is soooo important that the vendor doesn't put it back on you! The words "Go ask the Bride and Groom!" are a nightmare on wedding day! Talk to the vendors ahead of time to avoid this!

Bottom line, you are very lucky to have so many people wanting and willing to help you! I hope this is beneficial in making the best use of it! I’d love to hear how you handled all the help on and surrounding your wedding day!