Dear Wendi Wednesday: Tuxedo Prep

Hi All!

It has been quite a while since I have done a Dear Wendi Wednesday! I guess I'm always looking inspiration and questions to answer! I received this question from one of my clients, and it sparked the perfect topic for this post! I love when my Grooms aren't afraid to ask questions and seek my advice! I think it is really beneficial to all men out there! Thanks E.W. for being my muse!


Hello Wendi,

I have rented a tux but I was wondering if you had any other advice regarding the tux (picking it up, trying it on, etc). I have worn tuxes before but it has been awhile and it wasn't for such an important event.

Thanks,

E.W.


Hi E.W.,

Thanks for the email! Yes, I do have a little advice. I would definitely see if you can pick your tux up a few days before the wedding to try it on and make sure they gave you the right sizes and pieces (2 days before is perfect!). This gives you ample time to make sure it is all there and in pristine condition (clean, pressed, and no loose hems or holes)! I have sadly seen too many grooms and grooms men having to do the tuxedo shuffle (trading parts and pieces with one another) because the tux shop somehow got the wrong sizes for a couple of the men.

Also, if you are wearing cuff-links or tuxedo buttons you want to make sure you have those days before as well. The rental tuxedos don't usually include those items. When you try the tux on, try on the whole ensemble including socks, cuff-links, buttons, handkerchief, etc. to make sure you like they way it all looks together. A walk through is very important to guaranteeing you like the finished product! If there is something missing or off you can correct it before wedding day!

On wedding day, all eyes may be on her, but her eyes will only be on you!

I hope this helps! If you have more specific questions please let me know! I'm happy to help!


All the best,

Wendi

Dear Wendi Wednesday...Granting a wish while planning a dream!

Dear Wendi,

Are there any ways to give back while planning my wedding?

S.S.


Hi S.S.,

There are so many ways to give back while planning your wedding. Right now in particular with the devastation in Haiti and down economy many vendors are offering their services in lieu of a donation to their charity. I will have more on this in a later posting, but the way to give back that is standing out in my mind and is close to my heart is We Heart Sharlane.

Sharlane is a dear friend to most of the people in the Seattle wedding industry. She is a creative genius that helps push the limits of the bridal industry. She is passionate, lively, and full of life! The event is happening tomorrow night. Here is the needed information:


Photo by MeRa Koh

WE HEART SHARLANE

What: A Fundraising Auction

Where: Herban Feast @ Sodo Park 3200 1st Avenue South, Seattle, WA. 98134

When: Thursday Feb 4th 2010 7-10pm

Who: EVERYONE! Please forward this email on to family, friends, brides to be or anyone that you think would be interested in supporting this amazing cause!

"Sharlane is a mother, a photographer, and our friend. This year began like a fairy tale, complete with a magical proposal from the man she loves. Like too many fairy tales, this one turned dark as Sharlane was diagnosed with cancer even before the wedding planning could begin. The diagnosis itself is scary enough, but so are the crushing costs associated. This is our attempt to help our friend, who has helped so many others herself.

The benefit we are throwing is all about love, life, laughter and art. We are so excited about the donated items, and know that even if you don't know Sharlane you can find something amazing to spend your money on for a Valentine's Day gift. In addition to buying something über cool and impressing your friends, you will also receive that warm fuzzy feeling from helping an amazing person. "

You can help Sharlane in four (4) easy ways:

· Donate money (it's PayPal -- too easy!):

· Bid on a silent auction item on Feb 4th (check out the list of amazing goods):

· Spread the word! Please pass this invitation along on Facebook, Twitter and email!

Dear Wendi Wednesday...Tips from Mindy Weiss

I'm doing Dear Wendi Wednesday a little differently today. I found a video on You Tube from Good Morning America featuring Melissa Rycroft and fiance Ty Strickland. They and home viewers are getting their wedding etiquette questions answered by the infamous wedding planner to the stars Mindy Weiss. Check it out!


If you have a wedding questions you would like answered please leave me a comment and I will make it next weeks post! Thanks!

- Wendi

Dear Wendi Wednesday...That takes the cake!

Dear Wendi,

What is the deal with the Groom's cake? Should I incorporate this into my wedding?

Thanks,

J.F. Seattle

Hi J.F.

Thank you so much for your question! I love Groom's cakes! They have been thought of in the past as an unnecessary additional cost, but currently they are becoming incredibly popular. They are a wonderful addition of the Groom's personality into the wedding reception. According to Wikipedia:

"A groom's cake is a wedding tradition typically associated with the American
South... The decoration of the cake may reflect the favorite hobby or
interest of a groom, or be used for humorous effect... The groom's cake
is often served at a separate table from the wedding cake at a wedding
reception, though it may be served as a dessert for a rehearsal dinner."

The important part of a Groom's cake is that you have fun with it and make it about him. Have it made of his favorite flavors, and shaped to represent something he loves. Below are some great examples of my past clients' wedding cakes and groom's cakes!

Jenny & Amit's Indian inspired wedding cake

Jenny & Amit's University of Washington Husky Groom's cake
Hannah & Ryan's Naranja inspired wedding cake

Hannah & Ryan's Nike shoe inspired Groom's cake

Each Groom's cake was a surprise to the Groom, as a gift from the Bride! They were thrilled and touched! The cake really showed that the bride has thought about them, and what they would have picked if given the opportunity to pick the wedding cake! It was so wonderful to witness! I highly recommend a groom's cake.

Are you having a Groom's cake? Tell me about it!

Red Wine Be GONE!

Dear Wendi,

My wedding is coming up in a few weeks! I can hardly wait! I do have a concern as the day draws closer. My fiance and I are red wine and scotch drinkers. We are serving a variety of both at the bar. I am starting to worry someone will spill red wine on my dress. Is there something you can recommend if this does happen?

Thank you,

E.R. Woodinville, WA


Hi E.R.,

I'm so glad you asked this question! Spills and stains are a huge concern with most brides. But I promise, you have little to worry about! I have a couple of secret weapons to combat a red wine stain.

1. Avoid serving or drinking red wine prior to the reception. The less possible contact the less likely you'll be spilled on.


2. If you are spilled on, immediately poor white wine on the spot. It will neutralize the acid of the red and pull the red color out. You will still be wet in that spot, but the red will vanish.


3. Lastly, I am a huge fan of a product called Wine Away. (You can find it in most grocery stores. I've had luck finding it at Albertson's and QFC. ) It works in a heart beat on all fabrics and leaves no trace behind. I have used it on silk, satin, french lace, duchess satin, you name it. I use it at weddings and at home. I absolutely love it. They don't pay me to say this. I just love how well it works! (Though, they should!)

*Every dress (wedding or not) is different, and will be effected by these products differently. To be safe, I would first try any of my suggestions on a small area (maybe near the bottom or underside) before using all over your wedding dress. I have had extremely positive results, but can't guarantee them for all.

Do you have a suggestion for getting stains out of a wedding dress? I'd love to hear them!

Happy Planning!

Oh NO! Dear Wendi Wednesday

Dear Wendi,

I've heard from my friends and brides maids that I should have an emergency kit on wedding day. What should I include in it?

- L.S. Portland, OR

Hi L.S.,

Thank you so much for your question! Your friends are right. Having an emergency kit on wedding day can be a real life saver. My kit is FULL of different goodies to get through any situation. However a bride's emergency kit can have far less. Here are some basics that I find my clients using the most:

• Stain stick - Shout wipes. Wine away. Bleach pen. Any one of them will do the trick
• Sewing kit - make sure it includes thread the color of your and your brides maid's dresses
• Tissues - small hand held packs are the best
• Hair spray - a small travel bottle will do the trick
• Comb or Brush - or both
• Scissors - even a small pair. Check and see if there is a pair in the sewing kit
• Ribbon in your wedding colors - can use it anywhere
• Fashion tape - Can help secure a dress or ribbon to flower girls dress
• Band aids - someone always needs one
• Straws - you don't want to ruin your lipstick
• Breathe Mints - insurance for an amazing first kiss!
• Blotting papers - (if you don't have these - toilet seat cover will work the same)
• Plastic cups - just in case the hotel doesn't have enough for everyone to toast
• Wine opener- a cheap one will do
• Granola Bars - hunger can strike at any moment!

There are a million other things in my kit, but this should prepare you for almost anything on your wedding day!

Have any suggestions for what should be in an emergency kit? I'd love to hear your suggestions!

Happy Planning!

Dear Wendi Wednesday...How to Beat the Heat!

Picture from King 5 News's website

For this week's Dear Wendi Wednesday, I am taking a break from the boys to address an important issue. As many of you have noticed from the week straight of 90+ degree temperatures we are in the dog days of summer. Personally, I could not be happier! I love the sunshine and heat. The thing I don't love is how it takes a toll on my couples, their family and bridal party on wedding day.

Wendi, do you have any tips for not only surviving, but thriving in the heat on wedding day?

• Drink LOTS of water
• Bring fans (hand held or battery operated) to cool yourself and others off
• If you drink, don't drink alcohol in excess - add a glass of water in between every alcoholic beverage
• Take breaks during pictures to go inside and cool off (if inside is not an option, look for shade to cool down in)
• Plan some time to relax - whether it's 45 mins instead of 30 before your ceremony, or not joining cocktail hour take some down time.
• Be flexible! This goes attire, seating of guests, location of pictures, etc.
• Let the men take off their jackets. They're dying in all those layers of wool or polyester blends.
• Keep a slight bend in your knees - Never locked them out. (This will help prevent people from passing out during the ceremony and pictures)
• Keep water near by for your flowers. They will look fresh all day long if you keep them in water when you can.
• Have your cake delivered later in the day, as close to reception time as possible. Never put it in the direct sun. (Cakes tipping over or leaning is not that uncommon on HOT days)
• If your cake does have a severe lean, cut it early. You don't have to serve it right away, but better to cut the cake out of order then not have one to cut.
• Live it up! Sunshine is far better than rain!

Have a suggestion? I'd love to hear about what you are doing to stay cool and comfortable this summer! Email me: wendi@etherealevents.com

Dear Wendi Wednesday...Who Knew There Were So Many Songs to Chose From?

This week's Dear Wendi Wednesday is again for all the men out there in need of some professional wedding help! I find that many of you are given the responsibility of finding the DJ or Band for your wedding. It is an important task, and should be done with careful thought and consideration. It does make or break your party!

After you successfully do so, there is always the task of giving the DJ the list of songs for the reception. I'm talking the "important event" songs, like first dance, cake cutting, etc. I am throwing all you men a bone here by giving you a "real" (not cheesy or over played lists you find after googling "popular first dance songs") list of popular songs for all of your important dances. Many of these have come from my past clients weddings, and are very personal to them. The songs are also interchangeable with other dances or events. It is completely up to you. If anyone has a favorite song they would like me to add to my list let me know! I would love more suggestions!



So, here you go:

First Dance Song
· “More Than Anyone” Gavin DeGraw
· “I’m Yours” Jason Mraz
· “You Say It Best” Allison Krauss
· “Beyond The Sea” Bobbie Darin
· “Our Love Is Here to Stay” Ella Fitzgerald
· “My Best Friend” Tim McGraw & Faith Hill

Father/Daughter Dance
· “Who I am” Jessica Andrews
· “ Unforgettable” Duo with Nate King and Natalie Cole
· “What a Wonderful World” Louis Armstrong

Mother/Son
· “Forever Young” Rod Stewart
· “Somewhere Over the Rainbow” Israel Kamakawiwo'ole or Louis Armstrong
· “The Way you Look Tonight” Frank Sinatra

Cake Cutting
· “Sugar, Sugar” Archies
· “When I’m 64” Beatles
· “The Best is Yet to Come” Frank Sinatra
· “When Did You Fall In Love with Me?” Chris Rice
· “Let’s Stay Together” Al Green

Bouquet Toss
· “Single Ladies” Beyonce
· “Girls, Girls, Girls” Beastie Boys
· “Wishin’ and Hopin’” Ani DeFranco

Garter
· “Let’s Get It on” Marvin Gaye
· “Sexual Healing” Marvin Gaye
· “Pour Some Sugar on Me” Death Leopard

Last Dance
· “Last Dance” Donna Summers
· “Save the Last Dance” Michael Buble
· “Piano Man” Billy Joel
· “Home” Michael Buble

Introduction to reception
· “Eye of the Tiger”
· College Fight Song

Dear Wendi Wednesday...Man's Best Friend

In honor of my month dedicated to the Groom, here is an article by Lisa Lombardi, I was quoted in to answer a question I get asked a lot about Man's best friend.

Can My Dog Be in the Wedding?

THE ASSOCIATED PRESS
Tuesday, June 23rd 2009, 1:34 PM
Kaycee English considers her dog Bowser part of the family, so including him in her wedding was an obvious choice.

Hadn't she spent the year before her special day scouring Petfinder.com, wishing she could adopt a dog? Hadn't her husband, John, taken the lead on talking their landlord into allowing a pet?

"I really wanted everyone that I loved there that day," said English, who lives in Freehold, N.J., and dressed Bowser in a tuxedo T-shirt for ringbearer duty.

The idea of dogs walking down the aisle or sitting for wedding photos may be strange - even repulsive - to some, but a little planning can make things run smoothly and bring families closer together.

Stephanie Baker of Bowling Green, Ky., said she and her husband, Steven, adopted their blind dog Tucker when his story on Petfinder "tugged at our heartstrings." They rarely leave home without him and felt strongly about including him in their wedding.

She made one wedding photo a tribute to her mother, who has cancer. Baker posed in the same position with Tucker as Mom did with her own dog at her wedding 35 years ago.

"If it's something that's important to you, do it," Baker said. "If you have strong feelings about wanting to include someone, you'll regret not doing it."

Finding a venue that allows dogs may not be as big a deal as you might expect. Jessica Sempek of Skokie, Ill., said she was the first to ask her chosen location if dogs were allowed and the reaction was, "Why not?" Sempek and her husband, Scott Stewart, had a young nephew walk their dogs Lady Bug and Emmie down the aisle.

"He took his job so seriously," Sempek said.

Once you have your location, be prepared to answer questions about the details, like how long you expect the animals to be there, and many sites will accommodate, said Wendi Hroncich, a wedding planner in Seattle.

"Most venues generally want the bride and groom to have anything they want," she said.

The experienced brides are loaded with pet planning tips:

- Designate someone to be responsible for a dog during the ceremony and to transport the pet there and back. The human should be someone who's not involved in the proceedings. If it's a child's role to walk the animal down the aisle, an adult should supervise before and after.

- Don't forget to schedule a dog's trip to the groomer. "They went to the spa just like I did," Sempek said.

- If you're boarding your dog after the ceremony, check timing. Julie Hall of Silver Spring, Md., said finding a kennel for her pooch Maddy with late enough drop-off hours was difficult.

- Bring treats to help persuade the dog to participate in the photo shoot and make sure it can sit and stay on command. Before her wedding, Hall took her pet to obedience classes.

Most couples don't bring their pets to the reception - it's too long and overwhelming - but being part of the ceremony really isn't a challenge for most dogs, Hroncich said. "All they have to do is go down the aisle and then sit."

Sempek found that the only unexpected behavior at her wedding was little 9-pound Emmie's reaction to the music. "She wanted to pick a fight with the cellist," she said. "That was the only time they barked all day."

In the end, all the couples thought the effort was more than worth it - and reluctant relatives came around.

"After the fact," English said, "people look at the photos and say, 'How cute is this one,' and it's always the one with the dog."

Check out the article and more here

(Article from NYDailyNews - Written by Lisa Lombardi)

Dear Wendi Wednesday...This Months for the Boys

Dear Wendi Wednesday for the rest of month of June is being dedicated to all my male readers. I know how often you are forgotten during the wedding planning process. My next 3 Wednesday’s are dedicated solely to you! It is a small attempt to make up for the imbalance.

Dear Wendi,

My fiance and I are having an evening ceremony and reception. What is there for my grooms man and I to do on wedding day prior to the wedding?



- Bewildered Groom

Dear Bewildered Groom,

Thank you for the question. I actually get asked this quite a bit by both concerned brides and clueless grooms. Before making too many plans it is important to know what your wedding day schedule is going to be. Your wedding pictures usually start two to three hours prior to the ceremony start time. (So, if you are having a 6:00pm ceremony you would need to be dressed, ready, and on location at 2:30 or so.) With this in mind, I have a lot of ideas I recommend to my clients.

My first suggestion may sound a little odd to the men who do not consider themselves “metro sexual”, but it’s important. Male Grooming!

Take you and your grooms men to Flint Men's Grooming located in Bellevue for a few beers and a little pampering. They offer a number of services from massages to straight blade shaves and have a large selection of beers to choose from. They can provide a space you can all hang together. There is no risk of the dreaded cohabitation like all other salon/spas. It is men only!

A man and those closest to him should look and feel their best on wedding day. Yes, most of the attention will be on your beautiful bride, but all of her attention will be on you!
(Important to note: You should get your hair cut at least one week in advance, NOT the day of your wedding!)

My next suggestion after you're looking your best is go out and do something fun near by. You are lucky enough to be able to shower and dress in a relatively small amount of time. So, take advantage of it! Go boating, golfing, out to eat, etc.

Hotel 1000 has an amazing virtual golf club. Over the last few years my clients have really enjoyed it! You can have a private party or just hit a few rounds. There are two tee boxes that allow 4 golfers each, so reservations are a must. If you plan ahead the hotel can provide food and drinks for you to enjoy. It's a great way to spend time with your buddy's before your wedding festivities begin.

Lastly, I suggest if you are getting ready in a hotel, see what the hotel offers for entertainment. They may have a great restaurant, movie theater or know of something close by you can take advantage of. Wedding morning can be a high energy time, so if you have something fun planned it can help take your mind off all the excitement for a little while.

Most importantly, go enjoy time with those closest to you. Plan ahead so you are ready ON TIME!! Your wedding is the most important event on this day. Have fun, but always keep that in mind!

Have a suggestion for groom's activities on wedding day? I would love to hear it. Tell me what you did on wedding day.

Dear Wendi Wednesday...Few Months Away?

Dear Wendi,

My wedding is a little over two months away. I have all my vendors booked, and am in good shape with the planning. What are the things I should do in the last few weeks leading up to my wedding day?

Help,

J.B.

Dear J.B.

Congratulations on being so close! The last few months is such a fun part in the planning process. The largest part is over now it's all about the details. You really begin to see you wedding day take shape. To make your wedding day as wonderful as you want, the next few weeks of planning and finalization is critical.

When working with a coordinator, the task list for a Bride & Groom is far less than with out. Martha Stewart has a wonderful timeline in the Wedding Workbook portion of her magazine for Brides with out a coordinator. Her time frame is a little further out then mine, I know what works best for my clients, vendors, and I. It's smart to be further ahead if doing it for the first time or with out the help of a professional.

Two to Four Months
Manual meeting w/coordinator, put together timeline for days leading up to and wedding day and discuss all wedding related details.
Meet with Caterer - finalize the menu, room layout, linens, set up, bar options
Buy wine and beer (if needed)
Meet with DJ or Band - finalize play and do NOT play list, First dance song, Father/daughter dance song, Mother/Son dance song, etc.
Finalize:
Flowers with Florist
Transportation with pick up locations (addresses and times)
Cake design & flavors
Favors (flavors, boxes, ribbons, etc.)
Rehearsal time
Rehearsal dinner menu and time
Ceremony - readings, songs for processional, recessional, and in ceremony

Mail out invites ( 6 to 8 weeks ahead)
Hair and Makeup trial- bring veil, and any other accessories if wearing
Write Vows
Get wedding shoes and under garments
Dress alterations- have shoes and bra you will be wearing for fitting
Purchase Wedding rings -(if haven't already)
Start breaking in wedding shoes
Buy guest book, flower girl basket, aisle runner, bubbles, etc.

One to Two Months
Send out detailed timeline of wedding days events to all vendors - ask for their feedback
Get Marriage license - some states require more than others, so check and see if blood work is needed.
Purchase or make bridal party and parents gifts
Have Programs, Menus, and other paper products printed
Book Wedding night accommodations
Book Pre-wedding night accommodations
Get Final numbers to Caterer (two weeks prior)
Finalize Seating chart
Place cards sorted and in alphabetical order
Write toasts or Welcome (if doing)
Wedding Announcements

Wedding Week
Send out final timeline to all vendors
Give attendants timeline of wedding day and all days with wedding related activities (when to be where)
Prepare tips and final payments
Manicure and Pedicure (if doing)
Pick up tuxes
Pick up dress
Organize items going to wedding: toasting flutes, cake cutting set, favors, place cards, paper products, unity candle, slide show DVD, rings, etc.
Confirm Honeymoon arrangements
Pack for Honeymoon

Most importantly, enjoy this time with one another! You are so close. Yes, there is a lot to be done, but you only get to be engaged a little longer. Take some time away from the planning and spend it together as a couple. You be glad you did after the wedding is over!

Dear Wendi Wednesday...Children at Wedding?

Dear Wendi,

What is your advice on children being invited to the wedding? My venue has limited space, and we are already pushing the limits (and have to exclude some family/friends).We are considering messaging an "Adults only reception"... but I can see from online posts that there is a pretty nasty debate about this from both sides.Can you give your expert opinion?

Thank you,

B.R.


Hi B.R.,

This tends to be a very sensitive subject on both sides. You know your family and his, and know if feelings will get hurt beyond repair. If this is the case, I would avoid the conflict and welcome children with open arms. If not, having an adults only reception is very common, and completely appropriate. Your venue is not the most child friendly of venues. There are reception sites out there with additional rooms that can be used as kids rooms, stocked full of toys and movies, but yours is not one of them. I would word the invitation in a adult reception manner, and then prepare yourself that people may chose to bring their children anyway. Good Luck!

All the best,

Wendi

Dear Wendi Wednesday...Can you hear me now?

Dear Wendi,

My DJ is trying to get us to rent microphones for the ceremony. My fiance and I kinda feel like we'd feel awkward with microphones while saying such personal things, and our officiant says she projects her voice in church every Sunday without a sound system... Do you think it's okay to do without?

Thanks,

H.A.


Dear H.A.


I think your DJ is smart to suggest a sound system with a microphone for the two of you for the ceremony. A lapel mic on the officiant is best. It will pick up her as well as the two of you. Second would be a hand held mic held by officiant. It can be uncomfortable for you or your groom to hold the microphone while speaking.

Often emotions take over during the ceremony and you are no longer able to speak loudly or even above a whisper. Your vows are really personal, between the two of you, but you did invite everyone to experience/witness this wonderful event with you. Your friends and family want to hear what you say, without a sound system your guests miss a lot of what is said by everyone. This is really the most important part of the whole day. It's meant to be heard by all. Ultimately it's up to the two of you.

All the best,

Wendi

Dear Wendi Wednesday: What's the deal with disposable cameras?

Wendi,

I just had a random question that I keep forgetting to ask you. What are your thoughts on putting out disposable cameras for guests? I've always thought it was a fun idea, knowing that the pictures would be terrible and goofy, because the guests might have fun with it and there's always the slight chance of getting a decent picture. However I don't know if it's considered tacky, or if it might cause problems for the real photographer or anything. Just wanted to get your thoughts on that. Thanks a lot!

-N.A., Seattle



Hi N.A.,

Thanks for the email. I think that if you like the idea of the disposable cameras, then let's go for it. Your expectations of the pictures is pretty accurate! I do like to suggest putting together a "strategy" for your guests and the pictures they take. I think it is beneficial to put together a list of shots, like a scavenger hunt of pictures. Meaning, on each table we will print guest cards with 5 or 6 specific shots for those guest to capture. We can do 2 or 3 different scavenger lists on different tables so you get a variety of shots. Some examples of this might be: Take a picture of

• The B&G dancing,
• The Bride & Groom kissing
• The cutest shoes at the table
• Every couple at the table
• The cake
• Parents of the Bride
• Parents of the Groom
• Children at the table
• Etc.

To avoid guest disturbing the professional photographer, I would suggest not having the "key moments" on the scavenger hunt list. So, no cake cutting photo op, or father daughter dance moment, etc. Your photographer is also a professional, so they are used to cropping shots, using different lenses, or asking people to move aside for him/her to do their job. This shouldn't be a problem.

Lastly, it is important to designate someone near the end of the night to take "good quality" pictures with the remaining film on each camera, so there is not a bunch of leftover pictures on all the cameras before they collect them for you. These pictures I hope will be worth keeping! If there are some not full cameras, then take them on your honeymoon and capture more amazing fun memories. You will get them developed far faster than the 6 to 8 weeks your photographer can take!

All the best,

Wendi