Thursday, July 17, 2014

If You've Ever Considering Being A Wedding Planner...

This article is written by one of my favorite wedding planner/blogger/business women. She has amazing insight about the wedding industry and life as a whole! If you want to be inspired in business read her blog Think Splendid. Personally I love it! Here's today's blog post, which actually happens to come from a few years back, but still carries the same weight. Everything she says is true. Wedding planning is not for the glitz and glam, there actually isn't much of that. It's for the people seeking to truly make a difference in someones life on the most important day in their lives thus far. Many, many hats are worn in this job. This article describes a few! Enjoy!

The Must-Have Trait for Wedding Pros (And Everyone Else)

Posted: 17 Jul 2014 01:45 AM PDT

My first job was in high school as a receptionist and shampoo girl at a hair salon. I learned many
important skills at that job but the most valuable was learning how to listen to people on a deep level.

It's a universal law that hair salons are some mysterious safe zone where people open up about their most vulnerable feelings while reading gossip magazines. As the professional, you're suddenly entrusted with a piece of their heart, whether you asked to be or not.

It's like this in weddings, too.

If you expect everyone to be rational, logical and approach decisions with level-headed analysis, the wedding industry is not for you. Every engaged couple and every wedding brings with it a lifetime of family dynamics and subtext that you must learn to navigate almost immediately.

Some of it you'll recognize right away: the emotional loss of identity when two financially independent people are looking at merging accounts, a mom who can't seem to cut the apron strings even though her son hasn't lived at home in 14 years, divorced parents who will be in the same room for the first time in decades, crazy Aunt Mary who doesn't fall off the wagon, she jumps every chance she gets.

And then there's the stuff that's less obvious: the sibling rivalry only heightened as adults because of differing life choices, the unspoken social expectations passed down through generations, the years of dinner table conversations and the perspectives they shaped, the hours of therapy the bride or groom has sat through as an adult because of family circumstances.

Sometimes I'll "assist" a colleague on an event in order to observe the behavioral dynamics behind the scenes. At one wedding in Chicago a couple years ago, the mother of the bride made a tear-filled comment to me about how frumpy her arms looked in her sleeveless dress. On the surface this seems like a common insecurity every woman has had at some point in her life. What mattered, though, was that the mom wasn't looking at me when she was talking to me. She was looking across the room at her ex-husband's much younger (read: bride's age) new wife, whose arms could have given Michelle Obama's a run for their money.

There, in the middle of photographs and makeup and hair styling and laughing over champagne, was a woman who was simultaneously excited for her daughter's wedding and grieving afresh her own shattered dreams. She wasn't interested in hearing that her arms looked fine and she looked beautiful, she wanted to know that she was still lovable and worthy of being pursued.

These are tricky waters to navigate and require the ability to listen and pay attention on a level most jobs do not. They require building a team that practices empathy and isn't solely concerned with their own art, fame, timelines, Instagram updates or checkmarks on a to-do list. They require a thick-skin, grit and a willingness to forgive and forget when people's emotions prevail against their better judgment.

They require consistently paying attention to a world beyond ourselves.

Originally published January 2011

Thursday, May 22, 2014

You're ENGAGED!!! Now What...?

CONGRATULATIONS!!!

You've been dreaming about your wedding for years, and now it's finally happening! He asked you to be his wife, and in one moment the dream is becoming a reality! The harsh reality of dreaming about your wedding, is often you didn't include the planning portion of it! In our fairy tale we just magically show up to the perfect location, wearing the most gorgeous gown, full hair and makeup done to perfection, etc! Here are the FIRST 6 things you should do now that you're engaged before the true planning begins!

1. Call your people!

Make sure to call all the people that are important in your life BEFORE you post on Facebook, Instagram, twitter, etc. It’s not cool for your old college classmate who you studied with one time to find out before grandma!

2. Get your ring insured!

Yes I know… this is a dull task. We all know that you’d much rather be showing your new ring off, and flaunting it all around town. But you won’t be feeling that excitement if your ring jumps off your finger and goes down the garbage disposal, or a diamond or two falls off and you don’t have it insured. Trust me this is the one step you don’t want to skip.

3. Get those nails done girl!!

Your left hand is going to be the center of attention for the next however many weeks. So grab your girls and go get a professional manicure, heck treat yourself to a pedicure while you’re at it.

4. Stop – take a breather – and enjoy the scenery!

You’ve most likely been waiting for this day for a very long time; you finally get to plan the wedding you have always dreamed of. But before jumping right into the logistics of it, take a few weeks, and enjoy the excitement and romance of being newly engaged.

5. DREAM!

Grab your man and a bottle of wine and begin to dream. Now is the time to make your secret Pintrest boards public!!! Come up with some ideas together of what you want your wedding to be like. You don’t have to come up with every detail of the big day, just an idea that you both agree on.

6. Come up with a realistic budget!

After you take a few weeks of enjoying being newly engaged, set a realistic budget. If your or his parents are helping with the money aspect, make a delicious dinner, break out a bottle of wine, roll up your sleeves and begin to discuss a realistic budget.

Written by: Cassidy Will

Tuesday, May 13, 2014

Engagement Party at Robbins Brothers!

Monday, May 12, 2014

Secrets...Wedding Planners Won't Tell You!

13+ Things Your Wedding Planner Won't Tell You

I keep secrets.

At one wedding I planned, the cake went missing after the bride and groom cut it. The bride soon asked where the cake was. Turns out the servers had taken it upon themselves to eat it! We cut the pieces smaller and the bride never knew. Keeping things quiet is the secret behind making the bride think the wedding was flawless.

It stresses me out...

when the mother of the groom (it’s always the mother of the groom) steps in at the rehearsal to take over and change the plans. And it’s always the mother of the groom who hasn’t contributed a dime or offered even an hour of her time prior to the wedding who acts in this manner.

I hate feeling devalued.

When a potential client begins to nickel and dime me, I know they do not understand what it is I will be doing for them.

Don't forget the tax and service charge.

Many couples overlook the “plus plus” when planning a menu. Everything has a tax and service charge, and it really adds up, trust me!

I still cry at weddings.

Being part of the family for that short amount of time is truly rewarding. It’s when I’m sent baby photos that I know I had a real impact on a couple.

Your parents are paying?

I hope you understand you may not get what you want!

I'll go to great lengths to make sure your wedding is perfect.

Your wedding is my job and I’ll do everything I can to make it memorable, including walking miles to a florist in Jamaica to correct the $700 bouquet that arrived to you spray-painted purple.

We don't wear headsets and heels.

We know the importance of comfortable shoes. People envision The Wedding Planner and think this job is all about glitz and glamour. We’re not Jennifer Lopez.

Just because you planned your own destination wedding...

doesn’t mean you can do my job better than I can. Yes, you may have found lower rates on Orbitz, but you don’t have access to the contract and package perks that I’m able to offer to my brides.

You’ve only known each other for 4 months?!

Can I get 100% upfront?

I do manual labor and other dreadful tasks.

I cannot even tell you how many times I’ve been on my hands and knees, sweating. I sometimes have to count the napkins and linens before they go back to the rental company. I’m talking dirty, smelly napkins, with food, gum and whatever else is on them. Talk about gross!

Flowers cost a great deal of money.

For the most part, they are flown around the world to their end user. Their prices are affected by jet fuel costs, inclement weather and by the fact that they’re living things that are not manufactured by machines and simply “cranked out.” Likewise, they don’t jump into their vases!

You can always elope!

It's never too late to run away and have a relaxing wedding. You'll have great memories to share with your friends and family once you're home.

The second the ring goes on the finger,

commonsense goes out the door.

This is a full time job,

but on the big day we are steaming the bridal gown, pinning boutonnieres, making sure that the timelines are being met, making sure there are no spots on the glasses or silverware, allowing gum to be spit out in our hands before the ceremony, dealing with any situations that arise, and the list goes on!

I feel like a therapist

when I am forced to step in to help with family drama. My insight is to be polite and respectful. Often, meddlesome people just want to be heard out. Since I’m an independent third party, I’m able to bring neutrality to emotionally charged situations.

Sisters are tough to work with.

Often the Maid of Honor takes her role very seriously and doesn’t trust my capabilities. I take it in stride but have sometimes been forced to take sisters aside. By the end of the night, we’re friends!

If I’m doing my job

right you don’t end up with Bridezillas.

Make sure the things you spend money on can be reused.

Don’t have bride and groom etched on your flutes and toasting glasses. The same rule applies to serving pieces. If you must get something engraved, make it your initials, and then you have an heirloom.

Some things will not go perfectly.

We’ll do our best to fix mistakes without you knowing and bill you later at our discretion.

I do a lot of out of town work

and am sometimes away for days at a time. People interested in being a wedding planner often don’t take that into consideration.

While occasionally glamorous,

the reality of this career is you need to be a business person, a therapist, an artist, a mediator, and a psychic!

I’ll make sure everything you’re offered is in the contract.

If the first manager you work with offers you a complimentary toast, get it in writing. If that manager leaves for whatever reason, you won’t be forced to argue about these details with his or her replacement.

We are quick on our feet.

I had a situation once where the florist forgot one of the Bridesmaids bouquets. Within minutes I had one ready for her by gathering some flowers from the centerpiece arrangements and ribbon that I had in my emergency kit.

Stay focused on the big picture.

It’s easy to micromanage all of the details at the expense of the big picture. As long as people marry for the right reasons, the details of wedding planning are really secondary. Don’t make decisions to please or impress others.

My job is to make sure you don’t have a big overage,

but many caterers will fix 5% more than what’s guaranteed. While the buffet food can’t be salvaged, what’s leftover in the kitchen can. Ask your catering manager to send the extra food to a food bank.

You get what you pay for.

The biggest mistake you can make is choosing the cheapest vendors in the hopes of saving money. Really research your vendors, because you truly get what you pay for.

I wish you’d respond to my emails

as quickly as you expect me to reply to yours.

So the resort says you can’t use an outside vendor?

If you have your heart set on a particular photographer, consult the resort specialist about having a “friend” take your photos. Offer to pay for your photographer/friend’s flight and accommodations. Many will be eager to build their portfolios with destination shots and won’t charge you as much as they do traditional clients.

Reuse flowers

from ceremony to reception if at all possible. If you’re planning to do this, tell your florist, otherwise your flowers may arrive one-dimensional, and won’t look as nice in an open space.

If you've been engaged for a week

and your wedding planning organizer is thicker than mine (which usually contains paperwork for the five or six weddings I’m currently planning,) then I automatically tell you that I’m booked on your date… and your backup date.

Do you really want to do this?

Sometimes I get a gut feeling about a couple and really want to say head to counseling or put the wedding on hold.

Sources: Lynn Jawitz (Florisanllc.com) Denise Georgiou-Newell, WPICC, DWC, CSP, TICO (WeDDings Jubilee Planning Services), Tanya W. Porter (Weddings, Etc. LLC), Holly Schoenke (Simply Sweet Weddings), Gregorio Palomino CEP CWP, Candice “Candy” Cain (Candy Cain Travel), Jill Higgins (Jill Higgins Photography), Jules Rupae (Jules Rupae Events), Wayne Gurnick AIFD (momentsbywayne.com), Karen Clark (somethingborrowedsomethingblue.com), Bryant Keller (bryantkeller.com)

Saturday, May 10, 2014

The Do's and Don'ts of a DIY Wedding

Written By: Cassidy Will

The Do’s and Don’ts of DIY (DO IT YOURSELF) Weddings

Let’s face it we all want to save a few bucks wherever we can! Lucky for us and our wallets the rapidly growing trend of DIY (do it yourself) weddings is a great way to keep some green in our wallets! But….. it can also lead to some major hair loss, feet stomping, and downpour of tears! Who really wants to be that bride.... While being crafty can be relaxing, rewarding, and a jolly good time, doing everything for your own wedding can lead to stress, aggregation, and downright disappointment. Let’s try and remember this is YOUR big day, YOU should enjoy every step along the way!

The Do’s:

Printed Material – Wedding day material

This is where you can let your creativeness take over! All those little cute details that you have been pinning, or ripping out of the doctor’s office magazines can really come to life here! Making wedding day printed material can really make your wedding pop, and add that extra “wow” factor that everyone strives for! While this can be time consuming work, it is also well worth the pennies saved, and not only that, but it can been a good time for you and your bridesmaids or fiancée to sit down, enjoy a glass of wine, and a favorite TV show, while putting your hands to work! So head down to your local craft store, get some ideas, and get your creative on!

** A few printed material things you can do yourself - programs, place cards, menus, signage, menus, favor tags

Invites and Save the Dates

Similar to the printed material, invites and save the dates are great way to save some money that you’d probably much rather be spending on the honeymoon! Here are two ways to go about this:

Creative – artsy direction: Again this may be a smidge time consuming, but well worth the outcome! Save the dates are the first things your guests are going to see that show cases your wedding followed by the invites. This is where you can let your creative flag fly, take a trip down to the local craft store, and make your invites and save the dates POP!

Click of the button – Get online (your laptop is probably in your lap anyways) and create your own printable save the date and invitation. YES, this may seem lame, or like you’re not putting much thought into things, but real life takes over sometimes, and simple, elegant, and speed take priority. My suggestion - go online, choose your favorite engagement photos, and create your own masterpiece. This saves so much time and energy, and not to mention $$$$$$

When choosing how and what to do for your save the dates and invites, keep in mind, you have to write all the address, lick all the seals, and slap on all the stamps!

Guest book

Keep it simple, keep it classy, and keep it cute! Come on, let’s be honest you’ve been on Pinterest since he’s popped the question. You have loads of ideas for guest books! And if not, you’ll find some now that you’ve read this post! This will save you time and money, and also give you something personal that you can later use as décor in your newlywed home! Hop on Pinterest or ImgFav and start gathering some ideas!

** A few ideas for a guest book: having guest sign – a large wine/Champaign bottle, a finished or unfinished bench, a decorated booklet, photo guest book, finger print on a canvas.

Hair & Makeup – DEPENDING ON THE TYPE OF PERSON YOU ARE!!!!!

Some of us want to be pampered, and some of us would prefer do our own hair and makeup rather than spending that extra couple hundred dollars. Either way is totally acceptable. But here are a few things to think about before making that big of a decision about your big day!

**PROS of doing your own makeup and hair – some of us (NOT ALL) know best how to do our own hair and makeup. If you’re that type, you know how you like your hair, and what type of makeup looks best on you. So if you’re that type this is a great way to cut out that little extra expense!

** CONS of doing your own hair and makeup – If you are that type of person that loves to be pampered, doing your own hair and makeup is a quick way to stress yourself out! If you’re like me, I want my wedding day to be care free and even more important worry free! Another thing to think about if you’re leaning towards doing the makeup aspect yourself – that even if you think you know what makeup looks best on you for your day to day life - remember that professionals have been trained and have done wedding makeup dozens of times. They have all sorts of tricks up their sleeves to make you look your absolute best on that very special day!

The Don’ts:

DO NOT DO YOUR OWN CAKE! I REPEAT DO NOT DO YOUR OWN CAKE!

As fun as it may sound to stand in the kitchen for HOURS the night before your wedding with grandma baking a cake for one of the most important days of your life, for a hundred people or more, that fun time, can turn into a thunder storm in a really short amount of time. Let’s take a second to think about this…..

Who will deliver the cake?

Do you really have that kind of baking experience?

Can you 1000000% rely on grandma to pull this off?

These are just a few thoughts that should be crossing your mind when pondering if you should bake your own cake or not! Realistically you should be doing everything possible to make your life as stress free and worry free on the day of your wedding. This is your day to enjoy marrying your best friend, not worrying about if the cake will make it out of the back of grandpas van okay…

PHOTOS!!!!!! NO – NO – NO

As scary as the pricing can be on photographers sometimes, I know it is tempting to want to skimp on your wedding photos. Thinking “Well, my memory is pretty good, I don’t need THAT many photos to remember my special day” Let me just tell you, that is crazy talk!! As good of an idea as it may sound to have good old Bobby from college take your wedding photos, because he took a photography class back in freshmen year, it’s a awful idea!!

After your wedding day is over, all the guest have gone home, and you’ve come back from your honeymoon, all you have left of this incredibly special and important day is your wedding photos. And how sad will it be if Bobby had a few too many glasses of wine, and half your photos are of people’s feet, or he forgot to take the lens cap off……

In all seriousness, your photos are something you don’t want to be stingy with. These are your memories, something you’re going to want to show your kids and grandkids. You want a photographer that is going to be clicking that snap button more times than you can count, catching every moment that you may not even realize you’re having.

COORDINATING!!

Yes, this may sound like I’m saying this because I’m a planner, and I want as much business as possible. But really, truly, this is your day. YOU should enjoy every aspect of it. And how are you going to do that if you’re constantly worrying about where the chairs should go, how the napkins should be folded, and why there are so many people standing around not seeming to do much of anything.

Hiring a coordinator, even if for just the day of, relieves so much unneeded stress. Let your planner deal with all the vendors, and making your appointments. Keep your hands clean, and let the professionals do all the hard work. This is your day, you deserve to be 100% happy throughout the whole day, wake up to sleep!

MUSIC

This may seem like a task your best friend can do, because she owns a mac, and knows what kind of music you like. But….. don’t you want your BFF out on the dance floor with you, enjoying every beat! You can hire a DJ that best suits you, and knows how to get a tired crowd up and going, and when to play the right type of music. DJ’s know best how to get a crowd involved, and having a boring wedding because the music wasn’t playing half the time, the equipment wasn’t working, is a quick way to turn a fun wedding into a dull wedding. Here are a few things to think about, the DJ will have his whole table set up ready to go, he knows the technology of it, and there is less likely of a chance that things will go wrong. Ultimately do you really want the Mic to go out during your maid of honor’s speech?

There are so many things that you can nitpick and dissect about the do’s and don’ts of a DIY wedding. These are just a few pointers from my experience! I hope you enjoyed reading, and I hope I’ve talked you out of doing some of the DON’TS!

Wednesday, April 30, 2014

Special Day Emergency Kit Essentials

Written by: Cassidy Will

You've been waiting for this day since you were a little girl. Do you really want it ruined by sore feet, or chafed thighs? I didn't think so! Let me help you, help yourself! Here are a few essential things you will want to pack that no one ever tells you about! I like to call it our special day emergency kit! I suggest if you can rope your bridesmaids into doing this for you, do it!! Pass this list off, and let them pamper you! Here we go!

v Hair products – hair spray, bobby pins, extra brush, etc.

v Feminine products

v Baby powder – if you’re getting married on a hot day, a little baby powder will go a long way!! Put in between your thighs, under your cleavage, and any place you may sweat, and it will make a world of difference!

v Tooth brush x 2, I don’t know about you, but I always lose my tooth brush.

v Mints

v SNACKS!!!!! Do not starve yourself on your big day! It is okay to munch! And drink lots of water!!! That being said…

v Straws – this will prevent accidental make up ruining.

v Safety pins

v Baby wipes

v Chalk, bleach pen, white nail polish – whatever tickles your fancy. All these items will help cover up potential stains on your dress.

v Clear nail polish – this can be used to stop any snags or runs in anyone’s attire

v Scissors

v Tape

v Q-tips

v Nail clippers